Archie:
There's the cool kids
There's the preps and there's the skate punks and the jocks
And then there's me
There's the losers
There's the nerds and there's the stoners and the Goths
And then there's me

But then there's you
Cause you're the new kid in the school
Not defined by one specific breed
And so your free to flip from group to group
From scene to scene
Cause you're the condulate, the medium, the go-between
Which means your perfectly positioned to get me what I need

Evan:
Look, Archie, I'm the wrong guy for this.

Archie:
One date, that's all I'm asking.

Evan:
Isn't there some nice girl on the special needs bus?

Archie:
They don't like me
Even back before the crutches, it was clear I don't fit here
So it's hopeless
I can't walk right up to Kendra and say "Hey",
She'd run away

But look at you
You're making friends and having parties
And adapting at impressive speed
Just twenty minutes as we're sitting so our knees can touch
Yes, it's a tiny inconvenience, but it means so much
Cause out of all of Indiana, you can get me what I need

Evan:
It's impossible!

Archie:
And what I need is Kendra!

Others:
Kendra, Kendra!

Archie:
Beautiful Kendra!

Others:
Kendra, Kendra!

Archie:
Wonderful Kendra!
Make her appear!

Boys:
If you want a girl, the girl you want is

Archie:
Kendra!
Very hot, Kendra!

Boys:
Very hot, very hot

Archie:
Go tell Kendra…
I'm waiting here

Here's the problem
Every minute, every second that I wait might be too late
So let's face it,
If I ever had a chance, the time is now, I don't care how
Just do your best
And I won't bother you again and that's a promise guaranteed

So, you can help me out and it can go through very well
Or I can turn around and make your life a living hell
It's up to you, you've got a choice, you've got incentive to succeed
Yes, I know it sounds insane
Jerry Lewis can explain
You've got to help me, Evan
Help me, Evan
Help me, Evan
Help me, Evan
Get me what I need

Evan:
I'll try!

Archie:
I knew you would.